So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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