how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize