Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize