I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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