i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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