Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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