New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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