$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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