she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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