i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize