I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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