i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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