there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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