i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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