um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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