Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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