let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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