I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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