I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize