I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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