she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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