Jerry, you need to find god
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize