bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize