why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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