My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize