12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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