i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize