I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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