we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize