I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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