From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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