Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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