Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
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WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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