I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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