My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize