great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
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her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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