I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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