It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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