you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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