yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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