So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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