don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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