put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
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I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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