Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
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blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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