Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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