Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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