She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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