I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize