And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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