she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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